made for another world

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 13

2010-11-14T00:23:00.000-06:00

Today I am thankful for sleep!

I can't remember the last time I had a "no alarm clock" Saturday morning--it has been over a month, maybe even two. There is just something about being curled up in bed with no pressing issues to resolve that is pure bliss to me. The bonus for this morning was that while I was warm in my bed, I knew that outside it was cold and rainy.

Listening to the rain is another thing to be thankful for. There is something soothing about the pitter-patter sound on the window. My uncle Gerry loved the sound of rain, too. (It seems that lots of people enjoy the sound of rain, but I think being a farmer adds another dimension to being able to enjoy what rain is.) I'm grateful that one of the last times I spent some quality time with him, we were able to stand in silence in the doorway of his shed, listening to the roar on the metal roof and watching the rain come down in torrents. The sound of gentle rain is soothing, and to me, there is something cleansing about a downpour. I think it overwhelms my senses and causes me to stop, take in the world around me, and reboot.

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 12

2010-11-14T00:10:00.001-06:00

I missed a day! What I would write about, however, was on my mind yesterday--it just did not make it into blog form. Here we go...

Yesterday I was thankful for my job. There are so many things I love about being a teacher in general, and I am particularly thankful to be working at my specific school. I have great resources, great support, and am just overall very lucky to have been hired at Oregon High School.

So much of being a teacher is making connections with students. Even the most disengaged teenager will make an effort if something about the classroom makes him feel like he belongs there. Teaching can be exhausting, but it isn't any particular task that needs to be done that sucks the energy from you. It's the fact that in one day I interact with at least 115 students, all of whom I know details about their lives or am in the process of trying to build that relationship. Add to that the staff members I work with, and perhaps it becomes more clear why I am not often up for hanging out with more people on a weeknight. Despite the energy those relationships demand, they are also by far the most rewarding thing about teaching. Students, in all their diversity, make such a interesting and fantastic community of people to be around. It probably helps that I also really enjoy the subject I teach. If I disliked either the students or the math, I would be counting hours and days. Instead, the only reason I dread my alarm clock is because sleep is one of my favorite things in the world (see the next post). I sincerely love my job, and many times I forget that I get paid to do what I do. And when bad days come? Well, that is when I look forward to paycheck Friday :)

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 11

2010-11-11T22:43:00.000-06:00

Today's thankfulness post is going to pretty shallow, and I'm ok with that.

I am thankful for my DVR. I am thrilled that I don't have to be home when my favorite shows air to be able to watch them, nor do I have to attempt to set up a VCR recording (which despite my tech-savviness, I still always managed to mess something up). And when I finally do have time to watch tv, I get to skip all the commercials and replay any jokes that went over my head. In case you want to know a little more about me and my interests (and you are reading my blog, so I know you do), here is a taste of what is currently on my DVR waiting to be watched:

Chuck
Parenthood
Psych
Community
The Big Bang Theory
30 Rock
The Office
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
The Colbert Report
Conan

...And once again I feel as though I watch too much tv. I do multi-talk when I watch, so perhaps it's not as bad as it seems. I really believe I could give up tv at any time and I would be just fine. The most important thing to me is being able to laugh at and with something, so as long as I have other outlets for laughter, I will survive.

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 10

2010-11-10T22:13:00.000-06:00

Today I am thankful for having nothing to do. I got a little overwhelmed with being busy recently, and it was nice to just sit around my house tonight in the quiet, do a little knitting, watch a little tv, and overall just be relaxed.

That's all she wrote tonight, folks. Short and sweet and off to bed!

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 9

2010-11-09T23:07:00.001-06:00

I have been feeling a little "off" the past week or so. Doing the first of these 30 days of thankfulness have been a huge help, not necessarily in being a complete remedy for a gloomy mood, but rather forcing me to write something positive each day and hence avoiding the sarcastic, narcissistic droning I would otherwise be tempted to produce.

Today, despite not exactly feeling "happy," there is a lot to be thankful for:

My computer lives! Sunday night some water was spilled near my beloved macbook, and after 2 days of air- and rice- assisted drying, my computer has turned back on with no apparent damages. Hooray!
I have a backyard. I love backyards. Today the weather was so splendidly warm when I returned home from work. I knew I should exercise in some way, but going for a run just did not seem appealing. Instead, I spent the remaining daylight/dusk raking leaves in my backyard. Raking leaves may not be my most favorite thing in the world, but Sophie was running around the yard for some extra company and the weather was so unseasonably fantastic that I couldn't help but enjoy it. It also helps that I knew I would not be able to accomplish the whole process of cleaning up leaves from my yard in the limited natural light, so the task seemed way less daunting.
I have good friends who care about my life. I was able to spend a little time chatting with Kristen and Laura after a church meeting tonight, and it is so refreshing to talk with people who actually want to hear the long version of your answer to "how have you been?" And those just happen to be the two ladies I saw tonight, I have so many other friends to be thankful for!
God is great. At our "family meeting" at Blackhawk Church tonight, we were given a little glimpse at what different ministries have been up to this year. God can do some amazing things with ordinary people. Not only is God great, but God is love. And consider this: "Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:7-8)

Reasons for thankfulness abound, even when I am reluctant to admit it.

Oh, and here's a bonus item for the thankfulness list:

Coca-Cola. What can I say? That carbonated beverage just has a way of winning my delight. I have been trying to avoid it because, truly, there is absolutely no nutritional way to defend having coke as part of my food intake. But when weakness won out today and I opened that bottle cap, the fizzy smell that filled my nose was just the greatest thing ever.

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 8

2010-11-08T23:06:00.000-06:00

I am thankful for my cat, Sophie (named after Sophia Germain the 16th century mathematician, of course). I am in a bit of a bad mood tonight and really just want to sleep, and Sophie has cuddled up right next to me in bed as if to say 'yes, let's forget our troubles and enter into sweet dreams.'

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 7

2010-11-07T21:49:00.002-06:00

Today I am thankful for my gadgets:

- My cell phone and the wonderful feature of automatic clock changing. It is so nice to change time zones and go through daylight savings without worrying about what the real time is.
- The GPS (a very recent addition to my gadgety items) that allowed me to make a detour with ease on my way home from my parents' today.
- The rewind button on my DVR's remote. What a beautiful thing! Although, I catch myself only barely paying attention to what's on tv (I tend to multi task while I watch) because I know I can rewind if I missed something I actually wanted to hear or see. This may or may not be effecting my non-tv life... Case in point: it really disappoints me that my car radio does not have a rewind or pause button.
- My iPod, which I use as a computer-alternative. It acts as my calendar/planner, alarm clock, access to the internet, occasional note taking device, and of course player of music and video. Tonight, I am typing this blog post via iPod touch since my computer met with a glass of water and its fate is not yet certain (my sister tells me it was the cat's fault, but I was not around to witness and will therefore try to refrain from judgement).

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 6

2010-11-06T21:09:00.001-05:00

Today I am thankful for the community where I grew up.

We had a bridal shower scheduled for my sister at 2pm today. Life decided to happen, however, despite our plans. Eli's (Becky's fiance) grandfather passed away Thursday morning, and the family had their funeral service today. So after exploring all of the options, we decided to go ahead with the shower today but to push it back to 5pm. Thankfully, we have such great family and friends who were understanding, flexible, and loving. Many people who were going to be able to make an afternoon shower were not able to come to an evening shower, which was a little sad not to have some of our close friends available to celebrate with Becky. Overall, though, it was still a fantastic shower, and I hope Becky felt the love from those who were able to "shower" her, whether physically present or not.

Becky's shower cake: From Miss to Mrs. With Our Best Wishes!

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 5

2010-11-05T21:20:00.001-05:00

Today I am thankful for my church community. Specifically, I'm thankful for the elementary ministry I have been volunteering with for the past 6 or 7 years. Here are a few reasons why I love being involved with this ministry:

  * It is great to be able to work with younger kids. I think elementary age kids are fantastic, but I like my little kid time in smaller doses. I'll spend all day with high schoolers and hold on to my sanity most of the time, but I give props to elementary school teachers who spend 7 hours a day with the little balls of energy. I will treasure my hour or two on a Sunday, but that's enough for now.

  * Not only do I get a chance to connect with kids, but being an elementary ministries volunteer has connected me with adults both in my and other generations who I probably would not have otherwise come to know. But now because I do know them, when I am out and about in "big" church (aka, adult worship services), I have a much more diverse spectrum of people I call my friends.

  * I love worshiping with kids. I personally am a kinesthetic person, and I enjoy activities most when I am moving. When we worship with elementary age children, motions to go along with songs are a must. I lead the worship songs once a month with 2nd and 3rd graders and I have a blast every time! And it's not only fun, but because I get to move and am free to be the somewhat silly person I am, I also connect to God in a way I can't always recreate in "big" church or in my own quiet time.

  * Which brings me to my last point: I learn so much from going through the Bible with kids! The lessons are always presented in a way to meet the kids where they are developmentally, but going through that "kid version" of a lesson never fails to reveal something about God I didn't know or had forgotten. Or sometimes as I'm talking to the kids about what God desires for their lives, I am convicted that those truths apply to me as well, even if I am not focused enough to remember all the time.

Thank the Lord for kids and the blessings they bring!

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 4

2010-11-04T21:23:00.000-05:00

Today I am thankful for the public library.

About a year ago I discovered that the library not only offers free access to so many books, music, and movies, but also Wii games! Granted, the waiting list to check out the games can be a little long, but after waiting all that time it can be a pleasant surprise to be checking out a game you forgot even existed. Today I picked up 2 games that I didn't realize would be ready for me this week, so there's a double surprise! I won't have time to play them in the immediate future, but I'm sure I'll find some time before they are due back in two weeks to have a little fun. Libraries are awesome. And they would still be awesome even if they didn't have Wii games.

I'll leave you with the words seen on a poster at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear: "Freedom is not free, neither are libraries, fire departments, police stations, and public schools." (...ok, I don't remember what the poster actually said, but I think I quoted it right up through the fire department part. Taxes help pay for libraries, and I'm grateful for it!)

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 3

2010-11-03T17:27:00.001-05:00

Today I am thankful for our political system.

Not because the elections turned out in what could be considered "my favor," but because the process of voting reminds me I live in a democratic nation in which I have a voice and impact on government. Sure, the system the founding fathers set up may have flaws, but the goal of the system is still to be of the people, by the people, and for the people. If I do not particularly agree with those who were elected yesterday, today that no longer makes a difference. The elected officials for my area still represent me, whether I voted for them or not. I can exercise my right as part of the populous to petition my representatives to act for the good of the state or country as a whole and on behalf of the interests of the people they represent. A large part of an individual's political power is at the polls on election day, but we have many other avenues to make our voices heard on every other day of the year as well.

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 2

2010-11-02T22:20:00.001-05:00

Today I am thankful for Ultimate Frisbee!

I play in pick-up games with a bunch of people at Vilas park in Madison whenever I don't have other commitments (which sadly, is not as often as I'd wish). The group plays on Tuesday evenings and Saturday mornings, but since the daylight hours are quickly slipping away, tonight was the last Tuesday night game to be played until daylight savings hours begin again in the spring. But it was fantastic to get out in the fresh air and exercise my legs and lungs. As an added bonus, I get to wear cleats when I play, and I personally think whenever you get to wear specialized footwear you reach a new level of sports-person-ism.

Extremely thankful for beautiful weather in this last week of daylight savings before eternal darkness takes over for 4 months!

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 1

2010-11-01T22:16:00.000-05:00

I am totally stealing this idea from my friend Amanda because A) it is an awesome idea, and B) I'm a terrible blogger and maybe this will give me reason to be blogging in the month of November.

I am thankful for good friends: old and new. New friends that were at my house tonight for lifegroup and stayed late talking about life and relationships and just being honest and real. Old friends like Sarah, who was willing to be my host and guide this past weekend as we trekked to our nation's capital for the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.

I'm thankful that I can experience the world through a lens of humor, and that laughing about a situation does not dilute its importance but can actually create better dialogue and more understanding. I'm thankful that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have jobs that do exactly that.

I'm thankful that I finally visited the capital city of the United States. Just being on the National Mall reminded me how thankful I am to live in this country. How great is it that we are so free? How fantastic that I can disagree with you and say so, yet neither one of us is "less patriotic" because we disagree? How amazing that when we embrace our differences, we become an even more united and great nation? I do love this country.

Not quite ready for the cold

2010-10-28T11:13:00.001-05:00

I love the cold. It makes me a little sad when I hear my fellow Wisconsinites say they hate cold weather. I also believe it is sacrilegious to dislike snow if you call Wisconsin home. I understand if snow and freezing temperatures are not your most favorite things, but if you hate the weather we have 5 out of 12 months, how miserable life must be! (Especially since cold is accompanied by dark. I miss the sunshine after 5 PM, but if I disliked the cold on top of that I think I would be considering a location change.)

However, these past few days of cold and wind have caught me off guard. I do not prematurely break out the thick layers and winter coats, and it was not pleasant to be blasted with a cold wind while still in my mid-fall attire. I can accept that when it is time for cold I will need to change my wardrobe, but I generally expect to be able to make it all the way through October at the least before digging out my winter jacket.

Today I am particularly disappointed because my body is itching to go for a long run. But it is cold. I can dress for a run in the cold, but the situation is more complicated. I am not in good enough shape to guarantee I will be able to run the entire time I am out and about. That means sometimes I will be walking, and the clothes you wear to walk around in 40 degree weather are very different than the clothes you wear to run in 40 degree weather.

For the moment, I will continue to sit in my living room in my sweatpants and hooded sweatshirt, topped off with my warm bathrobe, taking care of other business until I decide if I can brave the weather my body and mind (surprisingly) want to do today.

What makes me happy

2010-09-26T21:47:00.000-05:00

People arguing.

Ok, not all people. And definitely not all types of arguing.

I love listening to kids argue. The type of arguing where learning is happening -- new facts are being acquired, hypotheses are tested, and what one believes to be sound and true is reexamined. And even though all those things are happening within the conversation, to a casual observer and likely to the young people involved, the discourse seems like a regular run-of-the-mill discussion.

A couple examples: Last week I attended a meeting during the 1st half of a school day where we talked (rather, were talked at) about establishing a better standards-based curriculum. These are the types of discussions that I usually leave discouraged that I am not a better teacher--that I have not fulfilled what I would have described an excellent teacher to be after I was indoctrinated in my college coursework. But as I was still shaking off that stupor of disappointment from the morning, I walked around my classroom while students worked on a pretty lame assignment I gave them and I heard disagreements taking place. I was thrilled to hear students arguing about the math they were doing and even more thrilled that I didn't have to start the discussion for them nor provide the "answers" to finish it.

Another incident tonight made me realize even more how much I love to hear young minds squabble. I had stopped at a fast-ish food joint to get a late dinner and overheard a pair of early-elementary aged girls talking about what they hoped would happen when they put a second quarter into the gum-ball machine in which their first quarter resulted in a stuck gum ball. I'll admit, the girls weren't exactly arguing. They were pretty much in agreement. But the were making speculations completely of their own accord and were set to test a hypotheses. Maybe these two specific girls were not in disagreement, but this is the type of thing I hear young kids argue about all the time. The key here is they were on their own. No adult to tell them what would happen, or what to think, or what exactly they should really do. Just pure, simple, discovery learning without the subjects knowing they are learning.

Sometimes I think adults try to be too civilized. Rather than discuss our opposing viewpoints with coworkers over lunch, we bite our tongues as to not step on someone else's toes. Granted, this is probably a natural reaction to having been caught in a past argument with someone whose passion for the conversation topic outweighed his respect for the opponent's dignity. So maybe the problem is we are not civil enough, or that we cannot seem to let opposing viewpoints and amicable relationships coexist. It really is too bad, because disagreements can be such wonderful and useful things.

lessons in loss

2010-09-15T20:34:00.003-05:00

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

This is the first part of the passage read at my uncle Gerry's funeral service. I had read these words before and had taken them to heart, but when I heard them in that particular context I was deeply moved. My reaction, given the circumstances, was to cry [more], but through the tears I felt encouraged. I'm not sure that I can name anyone else I've known personally who lived a life as close to what is described in those verses as Uncle Gerry.

Prior to a couple weeks ago, I knew my uncle was a quiet man who often kept to himself. I also knew how much love and joy he exuded when he spent time with family, especially his nieces and nephew. But it wasn't until person after person came through the church last Monday, offered their condolences, and said "your uncle was such a kind man" that I realized the same positive impact Gerry had on me was felt by everyone else he interacted with.

And those who knew what Gerry did in his day to day life, and had been doing for the past 40+ years, knew he was a hard worker who didn't complain. Despite many years of pain in his knees and joints on top of the grueling work that maintaining a farm can be even when everything is going well, Gerry "led a quiet life." As people gathered to mourn his passing and celebrate his life, we now have proof that living such a life will "win the respect of outsiders."

I am very sad that my uncle is no longer with us on earth. I am sad that I won't be able to spend more time with him and enjoy his unique take on life. I am sad that my dad and brother have lost not only their brother, uncle, and business partner, but also their dear friend and rock of support of so many years. But I am grateful for how much better my life has been because uncle Gerry lived down the road. I am grateful for every birthday card, whether silly or sentimental. I am thankful that I have had a fan club of family members, cheering me through high school, college, starting a career, and buying a house. I hope that I have learned from Gerry what it means to be part of a family. I hope that I can find ways to quietly pour love into those around me. And I look forward to someday having nieces and nephews of my own so that I can pass on what he has done for me. And most of all, I hope to take Gerry's last months of life as a lesson on how to be submissive to God's plan for my life. To not question God's providence and love, but with an attitude of servanthood learn to say, 'if that is where you need me to go, Lord, I will follow.'

I miss Gerry. But he is so much a part of who I am, that he can never really be gone. I take comfort in the fact that his faith in our God of redemption has brought him safe into God's presence. Death is over for Gerry. And someday, when I have completed the work God has for me to do on earth, death will be done for me, too.

The Band Perry - If I Die Young

2010-08-24T14:22:00.001-05:00

I have been loving this song by The Band Perry. (Listen if you'd like, but it's not entirely necessary to reading the rest of the post. The song is pretty well summed up by its title.)

There are so many reasons I like it. I'll mention just a few and expand on one.

First of all, her voice is fantastic. That is what first grabbed me. The song also does not make me sad at all, but fills me with a bit of peace and almost happiness. That may make me strange or morbid, but I don't care. The lyrics of the song are also fantastically crafted, and one in particular really speaks to me and has made me realize something about myself.

The lead in to the chorus is this: "The sharp knife of a short life. Well, I've had just enough time." The first half is a great description of what it feels like to know a young person who has died. There seems to something especially bitter to human kind about a young person's death. But it is the second half of the above lyrics that send my mind spinning.

While I think of many things related to that lyric, one of the main ones is this: I would rather die young than live a long life and have nothing to show my Creator at its end. In turn, I then wonder what I have to show for my life now. Who have I helped? How have I loved? Bottom line, and what I interpret that little line of this song to mean, is this: no matter how short our days on earth may be, those days are just enough time to live the type of life God desires us to live.

While it is still very sad when a life is drawn to a close at a young age, I don't believe the saddness is entirely tied up in what that person was not able to do (go to college, get married, start a family...). Instead, the saddness in any of our lives is what we are not doing and should be. I hope I can get to the point where I am living out my faith in a way that I can confidently say, "I've had just enough time."

How do you solve a problem like Sophia?

2010-08-17T14:46:00.000-05:00

My cat is strange.

Actually, I need to take that back. She is not strange, she behaves exactly like a cat should behave. She is a hunter. She loves the thrill of the chase. She is not lazy in the least.

But this causes problems, because Sophie is no wild fend-for-yourself animal. She is a house cat. She is supposed to lounge around in the sunshine while grooming herself and pretending to ignore the humans around her. Instead, if she feels bored, she chews on any paper she can find until it is torn to shreds. My house is covered in little paper schnibbles.

She's very happy when she is able to explore the backyard. But this has led to some other complications. I've just cleaned up after the second mole she has killed this summer. This is added to a list of 3 chipmunks, a bird, and some mice (of which I've lost count). And that is only what I've witnessed. There have been unsupervised backyard playtimes where she may have caught many more little creatures.

The hunting might not seem like a problem, but Sophie does not hunt for the kill. In fact, any animal Sophie has killed was entirely by accident. Sophie prefers to chase and play with her catches, which means she tortures the little creatures until they either die of trauma from her swatting and biting or manage a narrow escape in who knows what kind of health.

Don't get me wrong. I'm no PETA member. I also understand that predators hunt weaker animals. But my cat is not finishing her duty. She doesn't go for the kill, just the catch. I realize that we don't know for certain if animals have feelings, but when I see little beady eyes bulging out and some panicked heavy breathing, I can't help but feel bad for the critter in jeopardy.

So today, as I sit at home avoiding the school work that needs to be done in these 2 short weeks before classes start up again, Sophie's insistence on being an animal driven by predatorial instinct is driving me a little crazy. I'm seriously considering whether she needs to be sent to the farm to live.

And funny cat, as if she knew what I was just typing, has now crawled into my lap to enjoy a little afternoon cuddle. Brings to mind the saying, "can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."

Duct Tape... Saving lives since 1942

2007-04-25T22:15:00.001-05:00

CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (AP) --

NASA's plan for unstable astronauts: Duct tape, tranquilizers

Spring!

2007-04-03T20:16:00.000-05:00

Some pictures from Monday's beautiful glimpse of what's to come :)

The cats liked the weather, too.

gaining from hurt

2007-03-27T21:28:00.000-05:00

recent sermons and life situations of friends have caused me to reflect on suffering. we all know the cliche "no pain, no gain," and in fact we know it to be true in many areas of life, including our spiritual journey towards God. various scripture passages tell us that only in our weakness and brokeness can we be strong in God.

i have a hard time with this. when i'm broken, i'm broken. there is no strength. in my days of darkness, i often try to turn to God, but my darkness manages to block my efforts. so my question to the heavens becomes not 'why do you let me suffer' but 'why do you let me suffer in such a way that i can't find You?'

even more disturbing is what a friend said to me last night during Bible study: 'your hurt will eventually minister to others if it hasn't already.'

why is that distrurbing? because my hurt will minister to others. sure, that's great. being able to help others is fantastic and when i'm able i love to help. but in my hurt, i need my pain to minister to me. selfish? completely. that's why i'm disturbed. when i hear of strength coming from weakness i want it to be my own strength, not others. i expect that the person to benefit most from my own pain is myself. my ego is being knocked down and restructured as i try to come to grips with the fact that my pain will not bring me glory. i may be getting stronger with each difficult day i survive, but that strength is likely intended to aid in the building up of others, not myself.

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10

hurdles and pole vault and parents, oh my!

2007-03-07T21:12:00.000-06:00

It has started.

Monday was the first day of track season. That means I can give up all hope of returning to my home before 7pm on weeknights until the beginning of June. Track is great, but the hours are killer. Today we had a pretty good practice. I'm "co-coaching" lots of stuff this year: sprints, hurdles, and pole vault. Pole vault will be my main responsibility, followed by hurdles, and in between time I'll be yelling at sprinters to run faster and push themselves to make it to the top of the hill at full speed. Lots of fun kids, most of whom work hard and a few of whom actually listen well to coaches' advice (it's that quality called "being coachable" that we all love to see in others).

To add to the craziness of the week, spring parent teacher conferences are this week Tuesday and Thursday. Last night was good, but the 4 hours of talking to parents absolutely wipes me out. It's such an up and down time -- with one parent I'm talking about a kid's great work ethic and humorous personality, and the next we could be discussing how a kid's depression is really blockading any positive academic performance.

The week ends with the Texas Instruments International Conference in Chicago. 5 math teachers from my school will be heading down early Friday morning to our "calculator conference." In one respect it'll be a nice get away and a good learning experience... in another, I just want to come home Friday night and crawl in bed at 8pm and not get up until noon. Sleep hasn't appeared on my agenda for March, but maybe April there will be a few extra hours...

I shouldn't complain. I've got a sweet life with all the comforts of the average American (maybe even above average?). It's all just another lesson in humility and thankfulness.

lyrics for life

2007-03-04T12:14:00.000-06:00

My world is closing in
On the inside
But I’m not showing it
When all I am is crying out
I hold it in and fake a smile
Still I’m broken
I’m broken
Only one can understand
And only one can hold the hand
Of the broken

I need no explanation of why me
I just need confirmation
Only You could understand the
emptiness inside my head
I am falling
I am falling
I’m falling down upon my knees
To find the one who gives me peace
I am flying
Lord I am flying

-Building 429 "No One Else Knows"

These lyrics tend to be my refuge when I feel "broken" (I don't think there is a better word). The line that especially speaks to me is in that 2nd stanza...

"Only you could understand/the emptiness inside my head..."

There are so many things I don't understand about life. For instance, what benefit could there be from me feeling utterly empty? I have a faith in God and know that I'm saved through the grace of Christ, so why would I feel empty? I find some reassurance in other lyrics...

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

-Natalie Grant, "Held"

And of course there is the writings of Paul...

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it[the thorn in my flesh] away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12: 8-10

Still I don't buy it. Or rather, I buy it on principle -- it makes sense and I believe it to be true. But I don't feel that its true. When I'm depressed or feeling weak and hurt, it is hard to call on the Lord. Not that I'm angry or displeased with Him in those times, but blockades that are in my mind keeping away the happiness are also keeping away thoughts of God and his goodness.

So it is my struggle. Currently they are complicated by knowing a Godly man who my emotions tell my mind I should be wanting to pursue, but the reality of the moment is that isn't possible, hasn't been possible for quite some time, and may not ever be possible.

But I beg you not to think this odd post is a classification of my everyday life. Quite the contrary, I usually don't feel this way, but when I do I just want to call out to someone to hear me. Sometimes I call out to God and I feel like he responds in comfort for me, but today isn't one of those days. So I'm calling out to the void of cyber-space... not so that someone responds, but just to feel that I was able to have a voice. I invite you to do the same whenever you need.

Shiny

2006-11-26T13:13:00.000-06:00

Just as soon as I decided I would most likely wait until the end of winter to buy a car, here she is. Not quite an impulsive decision, I've been looking online and I saw this one a few weeks ago. Since it was at a dealership in Sheboygan, and I was home for Thanksgiving, my sister and I went for a test drive. And when I got back from the test drive we talked about numbers a bit, and then I was signing papers.

She's a good car. 2003 Mazda Protege5. The previous owner was a furniture salesperson, and the bumper of this car shows it. There are also a few dings on the side doors, but luckily, the dealership agreed to pay to have those taken out (which certainly affected my decision in buying). But if you step back and don't scrutinize over the little scratches, she's a pretty sharp looking car. I rationalize the scratches it comes with too --- this way the first bruise I inflict won't be the car's first minor injury, and perhaps I won't cry... as much.

Aside from the exterior imperfections, the car is in very good condition. Not a huge engine, but it's not a huge car, so it is able to do like the comercial says (zoom, zoom, zoom...)

It looks as though Buddy likes the car too... or he just likes the spotlight attention.

I intend to enjoy my new vehicle. If you ever need a ride, maybe you can enjoy it too :)

Jason's success (with help from dad)

2006-11-25T14:34:00.000-06:00

I'm not going to say it's cheating, I suppose it's very similar to the way guys do "deer drives." The little bro Jason had a very successful deer season - a doe on Thursday and a buck on Friday, both nearing the hours of sunset. Dad helped-- he's been having combine troubles, and as a result some of the corn hadn't been harvested before this weekend. Since the deer like to roam about the corn fields (lots of food and great camoflauge), Jason sat in the woods just beyond the edge of the corn field, waiting for the combine to scare the deer out of the corn rows. He had success both times, Dad chased a good-sized doe out on Thursday afternoon and a 10-point buck on Friday. The picture is of the buck (obviously), and I apologize to anyone who doesn't like looking at dead animals.

In other news, Jason's dog Buddy had some eye troubles in the past month. You can see from the picture that his eye hasn't fully recovered, but believe me, it looks much better. 2 weeks ago when I was home his inner eyelid was sewn shut to help the healing process. But don't be deceived, through it all, he's remained as energetic and happy as any year-old golden retriever ever has been.

Weddings, weddings, weddings

2006-11-22T11:53:00.000-06:00

One more post for today, and it is about yet another wedding.

Liza Ann Semph is the next to take the leap into married life. Enjoy a few photos of the preparation period :)

Liza and Colin, the adorable fiances.

Bridal Shower time.

And again with the group photo.

Erin Otte-Meyer

2006-11-22T11:31:00.000-06:00

Another "Sheboygan Falls Girl" is off and married. My tribute to Erin, who met Justin when we were still at Sheb Falls High School.

Eating at the Cheesecake Factory in Milwaukee as a las hoorah with "the girls" (or were we in Waukesha...?). Erin's cheesecake came specially decorated.

Then came the wedding. October 28th, a beautiful fall day. The ceremony was at Camp Y-Koda, reception at none other than Rangeline Inn. If you're a Sheb Falls native, these places sound so very familiar and homey :)

And what would a wedding be if the "Falls Girls" of the class of 2001 didn't pose for a group picture?

Only 3 months later...

2006-11-22T10:55:00.000-06:00

I'm obviously behind on the blogging. Here's some pictures of my family at the County Fair back in September.Drill Team -- My baby sister Jolene is riding the 4th horse from the right in this pinwheel.

More Drill Team. They are an impressive group of riders.

Jolene and Dapper doing their best to be quick around the barrels.

My cousin Andrea showing in the "Farmer Bud" -- a just-for-fun show for kids 8 years old and younger. Jason is helping "lead" the calf around.

Jason and Becky all schnazzy with the cows getting ready to go in for the futurity show. (For those of you who aren't in the cow showing world-- these are cows we entered for this show when they were calves in 2003. They are 3 year-old cows, in their second year of producing milk. The idea is to be able to pick out calves in your herd who will be show quality after halving had 2 calves of their own.)

Becky on the halter. She's leading a good cow - nice milk producer - but not the fancy type of show cow you hope for. She received 22nd place out of 28 or so. Not bad when you saw all the nice looking animals in the ring.

This is the real beauty (and Jason's pretty handsome, too). 9th place. Even if you don't know cows, I bet you can tell she's a real looker. :)

oh my

2006-09-28T16:10:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've posted, so to get things started again here are some tidbits of information I saw in "the Skinny" of the Wisconsin State Journal.

BAE, a Brittish weapons manufacturer, has begun planning a new range of "environmentally friendly" weapons, including lead-free bullets because lead "can harm the environment and pose a threat to people." The company also aims to make "quieter" warheads to cut noise pollution and "eco-friendly" rockets.

Brittish Department of Education announces plan to teach Shakespeare in text messaging so children can better to it.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

things that change

2006-09-11T20:45:00.000-05:00

I realized the other day, that my freshmen students were between the ages of 9 and 10 when the WTC towers were attacked 5 years ago. That isn't very old... 4th grade. Granted, I was just freshly 19 on the day of the attack, but it happened at such a crucial time in my life and definitely had a huge impact on who I became during my college years. For me, living in a time of war is a new development, though I do have vague memories of watching news reports from operation dessert storm. But for my students, being a country at war has been the reality for about 1/3 of their lives, and it doesn't seem like we'll be able to get out any time soon.

It just makes me think -- the attacks of 9/11 changed me. But my students? The world around them changed while they were in the early stages of becoming who they will be. Even now, as freshmen in high school, they are still a few years (or more) away from being rooted into an identity. While I wittnessed a culture and world change, it may almost seem like the world has always been this way to them. Just like I remember the Berlin Wall coming down when I was in elementary school, I don't really remember what the world was like while the wall still stood. Or before George Bush Sr. was president. Or name any other thing that happened in the late 80s.

It's interesting, I think. Enough that I thought it was worth writing about.

so am I young or old?

2006-08-29T21:07:00.000-05:00

Interesting stage of life that I'm in. I'm old enough that my body is starting to wear out, yet I still get those occasional breakouts that are oh so familiar to teenagers.

My chiropractor tells me that if it hurts to sit cross-legged, then I shouldn't sit cross-legged. It actually doesn't hurt to sit that way -- in fact I find it to be a very comfortable way to sit. It's the uncrossing and standing up that hurts. It's awesome. (note the sarcasm) I feel like my grandma. I have to stand up slowly and endure a little pain as my knees adjust to supporting my body again.

There are actually many ways I'm caught between young and old. Talk with my 14-year-old students: feel old. Talk with my colleagues: feel young. Talk with college students: feel old. Think about starting grad school: ... yeah that one makes me feel old somehow too.

That brings up another interesting topic. Grad school. It's settled that I'll be taking a class this fall, but what that class will be is still up in the air. I need to email some professors. There's another situation where I feel young: interacting with professors. Maybe it's not necessarily 'young,' perhaps naive, uninformed, or out of place. It'll get better. At least that's what I tell myself.

I am going to leave you now to do some reading that is of my own pleasure. The "real" school work starts tomorrow, and I will have to say goodbye to much of the time I have been using to do "my things." I'm glad to be going back, though. I was in the building today for a few hours, and it energizes me in a way. That's always a reassuring sign that you're doing the right thing for this moment in life. (Being in the building also made me realize how much there is to get done in the next couple days, but that comes with the job).

parenthood of a different kind

2006-08-28T10:45:00.000-05:00

Being responsible for the care of 2 cats has made me realize how much having pets can make you feel like a parent. It has been very apparent to me this past year that Sophie believes I am her mother, or at least has adopted me as her mother. But it wasn't until recently when I walked into the apartment and was greeted by two furry faces that I realized how much it warmed my heart to be around these two.

And dare I say that I love them? I worry about their health and I enjoy watching them play. I can list off their usual habits and the idiosyncracies that make them each unique. Me... the person who often wants to tell the owner that is pampering a pet, "it's just an animal," and knows the life expectancy of most pet spieces so that when one passes on I can say "it lived a long time."

Now yes, I've always enjoyed the company of animals, and I've even felt quite attached to a few. There's even been a cow that I really missed when she died. Currently, I feel I have a special connection with one of my parents' dogs Comet. But Sophie and Miles bring it to another level. Perhaps it's because they are the first pets I've actually shared living quarters with. Probably more so is the knowledge that I am responsible for these critters.

So, as my sister and I say, I really am a "kitty-mommy" now. Maybe its those maternal instincts sneaking in again, telling me that if I don't have a real kid right now, maybe adopting these furry ones isn't half so bad.

Did I just write another whole post about the cats? Yes, I believe I did. I start real work tomorrow! It's genious how it works out, really. After teaching summer school, I spend about 2-3 weeks out of a real job, which is just enough time for me to get really bored and ready to go back to work!

Another New Baby

2006-08-26T13:34:00.000-05:00

Another addition to the parent's farm -- meet Sierra's filly...

basking in the sunlight

sticking close to mom

I now have an internet connection set up in my apartment, so possibly I will post more often. I also don't have a lot going on right now (hence the posts about the recent animal additons to my mom's clan), but school duties begin this coming tuesday!

Amazing, really

2006-08-15T17:32:00.000-05:00

I think they may have broken some kind of record.

Sophie and Miles, after only one week of living together, tolerate each other to the point that they will eat next to each other separated by a measly foot of space. They also chase one another around the apartment in a friendly manner with no hissing or scratching.

For two cats who both assumed him/herself to be the king/queen of the world, I'm impressed.

Strange cat

2006-08-09T10:54:00.000-05:00

I think the picture speaks for itself.

Mom's new baby

2006-08-09T10:41:00.000-05:00

Those of you who know my mother know that she can't resist anything cute and cuddly. This includes babies, young children, and furry critters of all kinds. And if you really know my mother, you know that if that cute and cuddly creature is in need (sick, wounded, or just without a home), mom will do everything in her power to make the situation better. So during my life time we've nursed kittens, puppies, birds, goats, calves, guinea pigs, rabbits, and a rodent I still don't know the name of back to health. We've also adopted animals of all types to live on our farm, and more recently, to live in our house.

The newest addition to the family is a pocket-sized puppy. She's a mix of a few small dogs, and as a result, she looks like a miniature beagle with a long body. Adorable? Why yes, yes she is. But go ahead and check her out for yourself--

Leaving the cockroaches behind

2006-08-07T10:53:00.000-05:00

Moving time has finally arrived. I'm transferring my belongings from my roach-filled apartment to my new, sunny, spacious 3-bedroom in a quiet Madison neighborhood. Doing my best to make sure no stowe-aways come with me, but I've already spotted (and annihilated) 2 of the nasty little bugs in my new room. My new landlord is going to spray the apartment, so hopefully any of them that manage to transfer with me won't have time to reproduce.

Other exciting things that accompany this move -- Miles the cat! My friends Tim and Jessica are leaving for Israel this Saturday. They will be there for a year as Tim attends school in Jerusalem on a scholarship (he is a graduate student in Hebrew Bible). Since Miles couldn't go with them, he's spending the year with me and Sophie. How are the kitties getting along, you ask? Well, they are choosing not to. The apartment is big enough that they have been able to avoid seeing each other. Miles is still unsure of the place, so he spends most of his time under furniture. Sophie, being the princess that she is, made herself at home as soon as we walked in the door. She's enjoying running around the large rooms and sitting in the window watching people, birds, squirrels and sunshine. We've only been in the apartment since Saturday, so the cats still need more time to get acquainted. Sophie seems like she would like to play with Miles, but currently he has no intention of coming out from under my dresser.

Speaking of furniture, I'm excited about my new desk. I found it at a garage sale for $5. It had been a child's desk, so I had some sticker-peeling and crayon sanding to do, but after painting it like my dresser, I'd say it looks pretty dern schnazzy. You can decide for yourself :)

Casas por Cristo - Juarez, Mexico

2006-07-30T16:03:00.000-05:00

This past June 10-17 I went with 40 other people from Blackhawk Church to Juarez, Mexico. We left at about 6am on Saturday, June 10, and rode on a coach bus for about 30 hours to a hotel in El Paso, Texas. There we got to rest in air conditioning, enjoy nice showers and comfortable beds, and take a dip in the pool.

The next morning (Monday) we loaded up vans that we rented with supplies we had brought with us from Wisconsin and some that we purchased in El Paso. We drove accross the border and unloaded our things into a church that we stayed at for the week. Then it was off to pick up our tools from the Casas' headquarters and our two teams each went to their work sites to begin the build. One team built a 3-room house for a family of 5, and the team I was on built a Sunday school building for a church.

Monday's work consisted of evening out the ground of the build site, building a frame for the concrete slab, and mixing and pouring the concrete (all by hand). We had an electric cement mixer, but shortly after starting to pour cement, it broke. We were able to rig it up in such a way that it continued to work, but for fear of it breaking again we were only mixing half-size loads. This, as you can imagine, was taking much longer than it should have. So a few of us began mixing cement by hand in a wheelbarrow to speed the process along. At about 10:30pm, we were finally done pouring our slab and headed back to the church in Juarez to shower and sleep.

Tuesday's work was to build the wall and roof frames. The day's work was hindered by a tempermental generator that decided not to run at all for the day, so 2x4's all needed to be cut to length with hand saws. But, by lunch/siesta time the wall frames were assembled and up, after siesta we attached blackboard to the exterior of the building while others insulated the interior, and in the dusk the last nails were pounded to attach the roof frames.Wednesday was the day we hoped to have the building completed. Plywood, tarpaper, and a thick green roofing paper went on the roof. We nailed chicken wire to the blackboard so that the stucco had something to hold to. Sheetrock went onto the interior walls and ceiling. Some of the electrical work was completed. And into the evening hours we applied stucco to the outside of the building. We left at about 9:30pm with just a little more to complete the next morning.
Thursday morning we put finishing touches on the sheetrock, electrical, and cleaned up the site. Around 11am we had a dedication with the pastor of the church, his family, and a few of the congregation members. A boy that had been hanging around the site all week named Benito became a friend of mine, even though we were mostly unable to verbally communicate. He was sad to see us go, and he exchanged his metal bracelet for my 'ONE' bracelet (see picture of us). We didn't get to interact with the mexican people much during our stay, but those that we did spend time with were truly amazing and have a special place in my heart.

Thursday afternoon we went to a market. It was basically a tourist market, but I purchased a nice wool blanket. That evening the church we stayed in held a special service for us. Lucky for us, one of our team members is fluent in spanish and translated so we were able to overcome the language barrier. Music, however, went untranslated and we experienced the unity of the church across cultures as those around us sang words we did not understand, but we felt the presence of the spirit and worshipped with them just the same.

Friday morning we packed up the vans and headed back across the border. We borded the bus again in El Paso, and 30 hours later (Saturday afternoon) we were back in Madison and headed to our own showers and beds.

The trip was so short, yet so worth it. We built two buildings, and had our souls refueled by the service of our hands, the community within our group, and the people of Juarez we met.

Starting this up again

2006-07-30T15:55:00.000-05:00

Greetings to those who are reading this blog. I haven't posted anything for a year, and I came to realize I do have a few interesting things from this summer that would be worth writing about. The next few posts will all have the same date or dates within a few days, but they are about the things that have happened in the past couple months. Enjoy and thanks for reading :)

life without work or school is bad

2005-08-20T12:24:00.000-05:00

Boredom. Seriously nothing to do, no one to talk to, and going crazy. Regular work starts in 3 days -- hallelujah.

The question of internet is still up in the air. My roommate had said that she would like to get it, but at the moment she doesn't seem to think it's urgent. Since I've had NOTHING to do, I've been really wishing we had a hook up in our apartment. However, if I'm able to check my email at school (most schools block email accounts on their network, some of them only block yahoo and hotmail types so I could still get to uwalumni mail, maybe), then maybe I wouldn't be so desperate at my home. Over the years, the internet has become a huge part of my evening relaxation routine, plus there are the weekends. But, if I don't have access, then maybe I'll be forced to be more active and tidy (I have found that I clean a lot more when I don't have anything to do).

Pretty much, the question is, am I strong enough to resist my internet addiction. If I am, then having internet would be a good thing, because it is an invaluable reference tool for everything from school-work at home, looking up events to go to, and those wonderful maps and driving directions. But, if I cannot resist, then I'm better off staying "unconnected" so I'm forced to be more resourceful with my time.

The good news is that this is the type of problem I have in my life. So so very glad that this is as severe as it gets right now.

It's the little things...

2005-07-23T23:33:00.000-05:00

It's always said that it's the little things in life that bring the most joy. Perhaps the little things can also bring on the most fear, confusion, doubt, or other negative feelings. Every once in a while a thought will cross my mind that will make me terrified to start teaching this fall. Example: Just the other day I was thinking about teaching, and I realized that I have to give out grades. I have to assign point values to student work that will determine what grade they get in my class. Fears stemming from this are multi-leveled. Partly this comes from knowing many students who I have poured large amounts of energy into and while I saw growth in our one-on-one times, the student would often not fare any better on written work. So there is a sadness in having to give a poor grade to a student who has shown improvement.

But then there is also the lack of trust I have in myself to be consistent. Can I indeed hold the same standards for every paper that crosses my desk and therefore grade "fairly"? I doubt myself.

And then there is personal failure. When a student (or many many students) bomb a test, who actually fails? Many would say that it is the student who earns his or her grade in a class, but when you consider that I am the one who taught the material to the students, and I am also the one who designed the test, it seems that the blame may fall closer to here than there.

I'd like to think that my teaching experience will be all sorts of joy and fun times. But I know (or rather I have been told) that this is a stressful job, and that the first year or years are the toughest. Friends will tell me "you have nothing to worry about" "you're going to be great" ... and I thank them for supporting me. However, it is really only me who will determine how the first year and years go. Will I be able to hold myself together? Will I be able to act out all the things I've learned about teaching adolescents in the past years? Can I maintain sanity and get out of the year having done at least a decent job at teaching?

I say "I" and those of you who know me really well know that I very much believe in the Christian God, so therefore believe all the things the Bible says about never truly being alone and not being able to do anything without the aid of Christ. And that all does apply here. But yet so much does rely on me, because if I can't stay focused on and connected to Christ, then I will not benefit from that fruit (that's the whole "vine and branches" thing you'll find in the book of John). And I prove to myself over and over again that I will enjoy periods of wonderful connectedness, only to go through weeks or months of distance from really living what I believe.

Such problems there are with human nature. Not being able to consistently act on what we believe is among them.

Perhaps I've gotten too heavy for 11:30 on a Saturday night. Time for some sleep.

Much love,

NYTimes.com: Moses' Top Ten

2005-07-16T15:08:00.000-05:00

Guest Columnist: Moses' Top Ten
By SARAH VOWELL
The Ten Commandments and original sins.

A bit of a rip on Texas, but it's also a rip on every person to ever live.

Into the Orange and Black

2005-07-10T15:15:00.000-05:00

It has happened. I have a job. This fall I will be teaching Algebra and Geometry to mostly freshmen at Oregon High School. (Oregon is a city just south of Madison, WI, for those of you who didn't know. I lived in Madison 2 or 3 years before I knew that such a place existed, so don't feel like you should know...)

It is all fun and exciting, but after the initial flattery of being offered a job, I'm back to feeling like life is as it has been for the past 22 years. But in a couple weeks I will be signing a contract and learning about my benefits and getting keys to a school and room that will be mine. At that point I expect I will have a better understanding that life has indeed changed. That I am truly an adult now. And that I will be solely responsible for the acquisition of math knowledge for a select group of students. A new adventure it is.

My school colors are orange and black. I do not recall what my mascot is, probably some sort of cat. (Of course, once a Badger, always a Badger...) Orange and black are such awful colors. I was majorly involved in my high school: choir, band, forensics, theatre, sports, even a bit of school government. I loved being at football games and dressing from head to toe in purple and gold and painting my fingernails purple and gold and making hair ribbons that were purple and gold. My high school's number one enemy was the Plymouth Panthers -- school colors: orange and black. My dad went to the same high school I did, so he knows the evil of orange and black as well. My mom went to a different high school whose colors were red and black, but their enemy school had orange and black as colors, so she knows they are evil too. But now I have to embrace them. The good news is I like wearing black. And some fashionable things can be done with orange. I think I'll get used to it :)

the latest on the job front

2005-06-22T15:42:00.000-05:00

What's the news on the job hunt? I had an interview yesterday in Sun Prairie for their alternative high school. I didn't know much about the school when I went into the interview, so I asked them just about as much as they asked me. Turns out the school is pretty small (3 full time teachers, 45 students). It sounds like a cool school, but I'm not sure it's for me at this point. But I don't have to think about making that decision until I get a phone call from them.

Coincidentally, my typing this was interrupted by a phone call from Oregon (the city in WI, not the state), and now I have an interview there this coming Tuesday. That's very good news.

And in the realm of me being a bit of an eclectic person, I am also in communications with an independent boarding school 20 miles west of Boston. I might even get to fly out there this summer to check it out. It's a context for a school that I've never come close to experiencing, but that makes it wildly appealing at the moment. I feel that I could take a break from wisconsin life for a few years and experience the east coast and this element of boarding schools, and then happily come back to "home."

But it's all up in the air yet. I just have to wait to see which one of the paths my feet end up falling onto. --And that truly is what if feels like -- I'm not making decisions anymore, now I'm just following whatever falls into place. I'm definitely operating on the belief right now that I can't make the wrong choice, and that no matter where I end up this fall, God will do his work in me and with me through that situation. Faith, patience, trust, and wisdom are the virtues I'm avidly seeking these days.

inspiring ... at least if your an activist

2005-06-03T15:06:00.000-05:00

One of my students (during my middle school student teaching) did her autobiography book report for comm arts class on Sophie Scholl, a young woman activist who lived in germany during nazi control. She and her brother were members of the White Rose resistance movement, and she was executed for treason by guillotine at the age of 22. The student who did her book report on Sophie shared this quote with the class:

The real damage is done by those millions who want to "survive." The honest men who just want to be left in peace. Those who don’t want their little lives disturbed by anything bigger than themselves. Those with no sides and no causes. Those who won’t take measure of their own strength, for fear of antagonizing their own weakness. Those who don’t like to make waves-or enemies. Those for whom freedom, honor, truth, and principles are only literature. Those who live small, mate small, die small. It’s the reductionist approach to life: if you keep it small, you’ll keep it under control. If you don’t make any noise, the bogeyman won’t find you. But it’s all an illusion, because they die too, those people who roll up their spirits into tiny little balls so as to be safe. Safe?! From what? Life is always on the edge of death; narrow streets lead to the same place as wide avenues, and a little candle burns itself out just like a flaming torch does. I choose my own way to burn.

short notice, don't you think?

2005-05-11T18:36:00.000-05:00

This morning I get an email from Sun Prairie's assistant principal, asking if I could come for an interview at 12:30 on Friday. FRIDAY. Talk about short notice. Good thing I have a nice cooperating teacher. Geesh

Check it

2005-05-09T20:01:00.000-05:00

hey look. it's a blog with my name on it. we'll see if i ever get this thing up and running. in the meantime, i'll just muse about the fact that i have one.

laters